The ‘Paradox’ Behind Life…

Three pairs of paradoxical needs drive human life. And they are,
1. Certainty and uncertainty.
2.
Individuality and connectedness.
3.
Having and giving.

Man gets tossed between these paradoxical needs because when one need is satiated the other is starved. Then, you focus on satiating the latter, only to end up starving the former. Understand this paradox and you will understand life.

First Paradox: Certainty provides order. Uncertainty provides growth. Both order and growth are needed to complete life. And, that’s the first paradox. You want certainty. So, you try to achieve certainty by trying to control everything around you. Now, when your life becomes completely certain, when things become predictable, you become bored. That’s why you lose interest in a work that you know you can handle. So, while you want certainty, you simultaneously also want a certain amount of variety, which comes only out of uncertainty. You need surprises and challenges for you to feel fully alive. Too much certainty is boredom. Unfortunately, once you hurl yourself completely into uncertainty for the sake of versatility and challenges, with too much uncertainty you become extremely nervous and concerned. You again seek a degree of certainty. Two sides of the same coin but you keep toggling between the two sides, causing a roller coaster ride in the flow and rhythm of your life…

Second Paradox: As a physical being you are the only one of your kind, absolutely unique and individualistic. But at the same time, as a spiritual being, the spirit of life that enlivens you is also the same spirit that enlivens all. So, spiritually you are connected to one and all. Both individuality and connectivity are needed to complete life. And, that’s the second paradox. As a unique individual, you need identity. You need significance. If you don’t find the right ways to feel significant, the sheer desperation to fulfil this need might even propel you to choose wrong ways to feel significant. Some people even become unique by developing extreme problems that set them apart from others. In fact, most people develop the subconscious ability to make themselves ill in order to gain the caring attention of others. From dressing in certain ways to carrying a certain style, all stem from this need. Obviously, when your trumpet is too loud, others will begin to withdraw from you. That’s why, you lose out on relationships; at least people begin to distance themselves. Now you feel separated. Now you feel lonely and isolated. So, you crave for connectedness. You want to be cared for and cared about. You want to feel one with the crowd. To meet this need, you join a fraternity or a club. Any form of gang is okay. Once you feel so well connected, you will again feel as if you have lost your own identity in a crowd. And, the seesaw of being tossed from one need to another only continues…

Third Paradox: Life is a flow and this flow is achieved through possessing and sharing. Both having and giving are needed to complete life. And, that’s the third paradox. The need to have and the need to give. The need to consume and the need to contribute. The need for accumulation and the need for renunciation. The toss is between selfishness (instinctive) and unselfishness (conscience).And, the oscillation is between being spiritual in giving and being materialistic in having…

While everything you do will be tossed between these paradoxes, if you can find a few activities in your life, which fulfils all the six needs and gives you that balance in life, you will discover a new zeal in life… the kinds you have never experienced ever before. That’s the secret to a complete life.

With Infinite Love…

 

Disclaimer : This is an extract from this month’s issue of ‘FROZEN THOUGHTS’  under the Title : ‘Unposted Letters‘ (Excited to be Alive)